January 2010
89 posts
Thoughts on hunting
Now I don’t much like hunting. It generally ends badly for the animal in question. It’s not so much the killing of the animals I find abhorrent (I do eat meat after all), but more the methods by which animals get hunted.
On the scale of animal cruelty, fishing and duck hunting are probably the nicest ways to go. At least with duck hunting, the ducks are attracted by a call, meaning...
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One day I would like things I write or say to be...
It could be based on self deprecating ironic comments. Or run-on sentences. Or references to some yet to be determined favourite thing of mine.
If you create a drinking game in my honour I will come and play it with you no matter where in the world you are… and win. I’ll even supply the official trophy for said game.
It’s gonna be huge.
(Probably not).
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"And ahhhh eeeeee ahhhh, will alwayeeees love...
Just chillin’ on a friday afternoon.
Listening to Dolly Parton.
Being soothed by her warbly country twang.
Imagining what her chicken would taste like.
Thinking about taking a ride on her rollercoaster.
Something, something, something, log flume.
These are not euphemisms.
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When great things come together
beautiful things happen.
In this case, How I Met Your Mother + 30 Rock = Forgetting Sarah Marshall
So much funny happening right now.
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Oh god, why did I think it was a good idea to add...
My mouth is burning, my throat is shriveling up and my lips have gone numb.
Hear me? my libs hab gob nub.
I’m like Jar Jar Binks over here people.
And my breath. Oh my breath. It can kill you. It can probably kill me if it so chooses. You could bottle it and it would be classed as a WMD.
I’m so hot right now.
I think mosquitoes like to play party games.
While we humans freeze when the music stops in the game ‘statues,’ mosquitoes freeze when lights get turned on.
The game goes like this:
I lie down to go to sleep
Mosquitoes buzz around my head
I get up to turn on the light to hunt the little buggers down
They freeze in whatever awkward position they find themselves in.
I’d like to think that at least my frantic waving...
pilotink:
Un Pato | Natalia Lafourcade
Un pato...
kaileeisrael:
indieandyy:
The Perfect Space by...
I have just eaten myself into a self induced food...
I never knew I could get myself to a state where there was such a thing as too much hummus but rest assured world, such a place does exist.
I’m just rolling round on my bed now, too full to contemplate even the slightest amount of physical effort.
Someone come rub my tummy.
I just made the most heinous of spelling errors
and it is all Harry Potter’s fault.
Is night running a thing?
Do people go running at night?
There are obvious benefits - it would be cooler, quieter and far more peaceful, but I suppose it would appear a bit strange and there is a risk of crazy people taking umbrage and y’know clothes lining you or something.
margarethnatalie asked: What kind of music do you listen to? Also, what would you recommend?
Tell me secrets →
kaileeizraeli asked: oh my god. your post about the tennis player just made me laugh out loud. i'm hanging out with my friend and she was like, "are you laughing at those blogs again?"
anyways...laughing out loud over here. keep up the good work.
anyways...laughing out loud over here. keep up the good work.
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There are several incontrovertible truths in this...
These are things like Newton’s three laws of motion, and Archimedes’ principle of buoyancy, and the inherent deliciousness of bacon.
Now we may get into an argument on just how incontrovertible these truths actually are, but perhaps we can just agree on one thing:
everything is funnier if it involves Jesus singing show tunes
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Go Yankees - Superbowl Winners 2k10
The 3 Facebook Settings Every User Should Check... →
bethlehems:
(via shaneguiter): While you may think these sorts of items aren’t worth your time now, the next time you lose out on a job because the HR manager viewed your questionable Facebook photos or saw something inappropriate a friend posted on your wall, you may have second thoughts. But why wait until something bad happens before you address the issue?
...
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Don't you... forget about me
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t!
I post things… they don’t appear, what are you doing tumblr?
As you walk on by… will you call my name
I have things to say.
Or will you walk on by?
Stop holding me back.
Call my name
Set me free.
Sometimes I wish my life would be acted out like the music video of an 80’s power ballad.
kaileeisrael:
changes—david bowie
I am not...
In New Zealand there is a liquor store called...
When googling that term, the apostrophe in ‘Dick’s’ makes a vast difference in the results you get
Why isn't there a nationally mandated lunch...
If only for the answer machine message that went with it going something like this:
Sorry, the country is closed at the moment, please leave a message and we’ll get back to you once we all wake up and have had our afternoon milk.
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Bugs! Stop flying into my goddamn screen
It’s like an insect apocalypse here. Drawn from miles around by the glow of the laptop screen, the bugs annoy me by buzzing over the screen incessantly, at which point I squish them, thus leaving bug guts over the screen and annoying me even more.
Why doesn’t my screen come with a wash bottle and wipers?
I should probably just close my window.
Why doesn't Wanda Sykes do audio books?
Oprah vs Ellen
it’s a war people. Who will win my attention? I haven’t seen a talk show for at least 5 years and they don’t seem to have changed very much. Except Ricki Lake is no longer around. Or Sally Jesse Raphael.
I should really be wearing sweat pants for this. And wearing a fat suit.
Watchkaileeisrael:
intimationsofimmortality:
Here it is, a masterpiece of musical talent, a triumph of melody… a lagging video with bad sound.
Here Comes the Sun. Written by George Harrison. Transcribed by me.
Let’s be best friends. We can hang out in hammocks all day and listen to the beatles. I’ll bring the lemonade.
That sounds perfect. Deal.
Enchanted by my first video,
my cat decided to have a go herself at playing the ukulele. To her credit she did manage to pluck some strings with her claws, but then got one of her paws stuck in between the strings resulting in much scratching of my arms as I tried to extricate her from her predicament.
All this from an animal who nearly strangled herself earlier today by somehow getting her entire leg through her collar,...
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WatchHere it is, a masterpiece of musical talent, a triumph of melody… a lagging video with bad sound.
Here Comes the Sun. Written by George Harrison. Transcribed by me.
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Prepare yourselves...
for a monumentous occasion. The ukulele is coming out. It’s being polished. It’s being tuned. It’s being practised. It’s bright yellow. It’s going to have its inaugural public performance soon.
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A journey into the void
I woke up about half an hour ago after 11 intense hours of sleep. This was not ordinary sleep though. No, this was 11 hours of the most realistic dreaming I have had for a while.
I dream pretty much every night, and can generally remember them. The difference with last night was the detail and the continuity my sub conscious gave the dream. It took place in the usual fantastic landscape but,...
Why is it
that there is not enough fuel to get food supplies into Haiti, and yet legions of reporters seem to be able to move about with impunity and appear perfectly presentable day after day, presumably with steady food supplies?
I know that there is a fine line between the need to report in order to highlight the tragedy and thus get donations and the selfish exploitation of it for ratings, but in some...
I will go and prepare myself some dinner
as soon as I can unstick myself from the couch. Taking my shirt off for a nap and then choosing a leather couch as the place to take it was not the greatest idea I have ever had.
In the unlikely event that I ever start my own...
I will make synchronised umbrella twirling the national dance
Waking up to the sound of a hot air balloon taking...
is not a pleasant way to wake up.
In fact, it is one of the most unpleasant ways I have experienced. My brain, at whatever ungodly hour it was simply could not fathom this sound and reconcile it with something that would not cause me instant death. So, evolutionary survival instincts took over and awoke me with adrenalin already pumping, only to find a giant balloon taking off rather gracefully...
Civilisation: now milking rabbits. →
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I just said the phrase "I'm a rocket man"
in a completely unironic manner.
I was referring to the vegetable. But also singing the song really loudly in my head. And then out loud, also quite loudly.
Musings on the ways of the world
My neighbour two properties across just had an ice cream truck pull into their drive way. If there is a party there this evening with the ice cream truck as catering, I am definitely crashing that party.
Musical ringtones annoy me. I am sure the number of times a phone has rung and an appreciative stranger has given the phone holder an acknowledgement of respect for their choice of music can be...
It is 5 o'clock on Sunday afternoon and I am...
a pair of boxer shorts and a t shirt I got from a cereal packet promotion when I was 10 (it has a picture of Casper on it and glows in the dark).
Ladies, don’t all rush forwards at once.
