December 2009
81 posts
1 tag
Things I recommend you do:
make a parody of Man vs Wild, call it Man vs Mild, shoot 25 minutes of film over several hours, do your own stunts… remember that remote sand dunes are windy, and that wind interferes with mics.
Things I recommend you do not do:
Carry a boat on your head down to the beach. Even with three guys and a mere minute’s walk; boats, even small ones, are heavy.
Plus I managed to slice a portion of one my big toes off on the keel, so do the sensible thing, use a trailer.
1 tag
PRESENTS
like you wouldn’t believe from my family.
Laptop, Tennis Racket, Tickets to the Heineken Tennis Open final, Several each of books and cds and dvds and tshirts.
I love our rampant consumerism.
Of all these though, perhaps the best is a bright yellow UKULELE. When I can play something on it well, I will share it with the world (which I also can now do thanks to my fancy new laptop).
The...
1 tag
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.
Love and peace to you all.
1 tag
Tonight I was a drunk driver
Not in the socially irresponsible way mind.
Rather, in the receiving of the text message saying “I need two of you to come pick me up and drive my car home as I can’t stand up” kind of way.
The things we do for friends.
Ideas for a better world
Some kind of standardisation in hotness levels in curry houses.
I just bought a takeaway for myself and ordered hot presuming it was somewhat similar to the hot curries offered by other curry houses within a smallish geographical radius.
I had to put my tongue under a running tap to stop the burning.
Why are Subway workers so miserly?
Here I mean the sandwich place, not the method of transportation.
It’s not like they personally stand to earn more money by skimping on every single ingredient. “I’d like all the salad ingredients please” …”can I have some jalapenos and olives as well thanks?” And then the sauces, which are usually dolloped on one or two places when all you want is some...
2 tags
Sometimes,
the rotational tendencies of the earth are a good thing.
Today for instance, I can look at photos of the beautiful snow in other parts of the world, and enjoy the beneficence of the all mighty sun god in my part of the world.
Also, I was thinking about this earlier, if I had been a part of the civil rights movement, I am fairly certain I would have had an afro. It would have been blond and wavy...
Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates... →
dyfl:
Superb. Just superb.
“I do not understand,” reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. “A booming voice is saying, ‘Let there be light,’ but there is already light. It is saying, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass,’ but I am already standing on grass.”
What You See When You Die →
livfm:
This makes my mum look forward to death as she would rather see a cat on a keyboard in space than jesus
Whew, to think I was worrying I would end up here.
Who am I kidding? I would love to spend an eternity at Dollywood.
Snow storm on the East coast of the US?
JEALOUS
Christmas with snow is just so cozy and magical and great. Actually, all snow is magical and great.
Come on freak weather system. Bring snow to Auckland for Christmas. I’ll even make a Calvin and Hobbes snowman if you do.
Why my mum is better than yours (though I'm sure...
For the family celebration of my Sister’s 28th birthday, she baked cupcakes and served champagne.
Hello Greenville
I checked google analytics today for the first time in a long time, and apparently I’m popular in Greenville. Now I have never heard of the town of Greenville, but I am assured by google that it does exist, and, outside of NZ and capital and large cities, is one of the few places that is constantly providing traffic to my blog - as in several hits most days.
So Greenville, go ahead, say...
2 tags
Sometimes I love New Zealand
We may not have Hendrix or Dylan or Baez, but the outdoors concert I am going to tonight whose title ends with ‘stock’ trumps all of that for one simple reason: a bbq dinner cooked by the hosts is included in the ticket price.
Like whoa
When you are drunk, and the night sky is clear, and you look up at the milky way, spread out across a scale almost beyond human comprehension, any problems you may have had seem so inconsequential in comparison, that they are best left forgotten.
1 tag
I once had peach
and it was a lovely peach. I had taken the stone out and everything, and was eating it for breakfast.
I had eaten half of said peach when the phone rang. I raced towards the phone, forsaking my peach in favour of its shrill beckoning. Upon returning from my phone adventure I looked all around for my peach but alas, could not find it anywhere.
Where has my peach gone?
Should homosexuals face execution? →
This was one of the topics today on the BBC news forum. The question has now been changed, but the title above is what was posed earlier in the day. That this question is ever asked is disturbing enough, but the responses to it make it doubly so.
The question as it now stands is: Should Uganda debate gay execution?
As some background, the bill before the Ugandan parliament proposes:
Life...
Cake for dinner is great when you are 7
When you are in your 20’s however, it is a lot harder to stomach.
I feel like Napoleon in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure - breathing heavily and focusing all my might on putting the last piece of cake in my mouth and swallowing.
Must. Finish. All.
If you were to imagine where I was right now
and that chain of thought led you to believe that I was sitting on the floor surrounded by offcuts of wrapping paper, having cut my finger on a tape dispenser with two books that look like they have been wrapped by a monkey with only the broadest notion of what it means to wrap something, then you would be correct.
Aspirations
Some dream about winning gold medals.
Some dream about Nobels
Others dream of Oscars.
Last night, I dreamt about coming 4th in a hotdog eating contest.
kaileeisrael:
boggle:
hughbot:
Andrew Bird-...
I'm fairly certain my cat just licked my lunch
but I don’t care. I’m eating it anyway.
The internet has failed me
When things are shipped from overseas, I expect them to take some time to arrive. What I do not expect is for items to be left out of the package.
It is meant to work like this:
I click what I want to buy, enter debit card details and magically it arrives on my doorstep some time later.
This is how it actually works:
A salesperson in a small shop in another country gets a myriad of orders...
Octopus grabs coconut and runs →
(via pterodactyls)
If you want some crazy ass dreams
I recommend reading about the Dyatlov Pass incident.
I did a few days ago, and the late afternoon nap I had today began with a ride in a fighter jet at breakneck speed to the scene and then being ejected to parachute down to the site.
Granted, I did wake up suddenly when alien yetis armed with nuclear powered weapons started chasing after me, but the beginning of the dream was simply...
“Mauritius: Named after Earth, Wind & Fire singer Maurice White, Mauritius is...”
– Craig Robinson’s Atlas, Schmatlas (via gospelofmoll)
THESE ARE REAL? I MUST HAVE ONE
It is called a snuggie, but is really a blanket with arm holes in it.
I had seen one on the Big Bang Theory a while ago but I never knew they were real and available to me for a one off low payment.
It did however give me one more premise by which to live: ‘if a beautiful woman ever hands you a blanket with arm holes, you marry her there and then.’
This evening I went to an extended family...
And there wasn’t one argument. Nobody stormed out. No whispered arguments were taken outside. No glasses of wine were thrown in faces.
Instead, it was pleasant. The Sangria was drunk without incident. The champagne corks were fired out towards the lawn instead of into the faces of relatives.
Success.
Even though my cat just knocked over my Christmas...
And this is a good thing.
“You really want to know, even if you may not be able to do anything to help? Well the truth is, actually, I’m in love…. and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“I thought it was something worse.”
“Something worse than the total agony of being in love?”
Two youtube videos you must watch
1) The first ever slow motion HD footage of a surfer tackling a wave, taken from inside the wave and;
2) Homemade animation of a lego car race
The second is very cool, but the first is mind blowingly incredible.
As everyone who has been near a computer in the...
there is something called Evony that wants you to play, possibly with its giant artificially rendered breasts.
This week, it has taken the extraordinary step of suing a UK blogger (bearing in mind that it itself is a US based corporation) in Australia.
The reasoning for this is somewhat two-fold. On one hand, the legal argument has to be that, following the Australian case of Gutnick, defamation...
songandstamp:
The Tennors - Weather Report
...
Christmas Shopping: Success
Parking the car at the top of Queen Street and having to walk back up the hill fully laden with gifts in the scorching heat: not so much.
Next time Ian, do it the other way round. Walk downhill when fully laden.
Signs I might be a bad teacher
Todays lesson for the teenagers I tutor includes such subjects as:
Beers of the world
Poetry to impress girls
Ways to insult people in English without them realising
Hell is
when you really want an apple, but all you have is an onion.
Sorry about punching that dandylion
I’m pretty sure I have done something to offend nature and, as pay back, it has honed every nasal irritant in the world onto my nasal cavities. Every time I open a window, or step outdoors they attack.
I have sneezed at least 43,000 times today, my eyes are watering and two new oceans have been formed either side of my nose.
Hey, ladies…
Important days in my calendar
Today, after going for a walk down the one street in Auckland that puts Christmas lights up, I made the big step of putting Christmas cds in my car. Three of them in fact.
Good music taste. That’s what I have.